Look at my arm right there. You see that? I got that when I was 18 years old, and I’ll tell you something: I regret it, cause this tattoo don’t come off. I have a tattoo of a cow’s head because I loved that cheese then. So I get the cow, and I go in there and I’m a little drunk… and I said, “Gimme that cow head from that cheese, I love that cheese… ” And now I have a cow, a cheese cow on my arm, Brendan. Don’t get a tattoo, that’s what I’m telling you. Play soccer. Brendan, take a look at my chest. You know what that is right there? That’s the woman from the Chiquita Banana. I got that tattooed on my chest. I am an idiot. I’ve got trademarked products all over my body. It’s like going to a market. Because I was drunk one night. Don’t live like me.
do you know how nice it is when someone asks you questions about something you like and are interested in and you get to talk about the thing and they seem genuinely interested in what you have to say about the thing
it’s very nice
this guy would survive in movies
girl i hope you appreciate your boyfriend. he just stood practically on top of a horror movie monster so you could get out of the elevator first. he loves you.
are we going to ignore the actress who got kicked in the face
act like a bitch get slapped like a bitch
if you ever think a date to a bookstore would be boring there’s this game you can play where you go to the romance novel section and the both of you pick out a book and flip to a random page. and you skim the pages and read the dirtiest part outloud. whoever has the nastiest scene gets a point and you just keep going until you feel like stopping it’s really quite entertaining
oH MY GOD
